This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
