U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i came on her dog
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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