Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
