O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
