UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We got so high we made milksteak
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
