I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
