Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
