he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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