I'm drive I can fine osifer
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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