Yo dont text me then not text me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
