You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
