yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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