My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
