Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
