i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
