oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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