If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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