I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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