let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
