oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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