Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
