good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
