Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
