I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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