your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
