Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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