stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
