I should be sponsored by Trojan
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
