I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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