he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
