Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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