There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
