So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
