Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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