Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
