I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
