There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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