see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
