didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
