we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
