Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
