Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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