My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
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