Is it because I queefed?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
