proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
we made out on top of his cat.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
