I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I came so hard my ears popped.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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