i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
