I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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