it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
