You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
