how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
