So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
