i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Even my vagina gasped.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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