If i could tip my vagina, i would.
false alarm. still invincible.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
