1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
