Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
