If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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